Opinions & Lessons

Adulthood is a Scam | Bodunrin Afolabi

By October 11, 2019 No Comments

Adulthood is a scam!! So you think, I, on the other hand believe Life is a scam.

What do I mean? You may ask. Think about it, what is the true essence of Life? If like me you have been wondering and perhaps pondering on what the true essence of life is, what is the purpose of the creator for this creation? Where are we headed? Was the whole point to come, run the rat race, make a few bucks and wait for “closing time” or as said in the holy books “the trumpet” to tell us ‘TIME’S UP’.

The millennials would argue against adulthood, their unpreparedness into this new phase of being an Adult, one that comes with responsibilities, paying bills, planning for a new family, planning one’s life and the list goes on and on.

“Adult 101 is supposed to be taught in college”, ‘says one confused transitioning being.

“Why weren’t we warned against this 9-5 rat race” ‘says another already frustrated prospective adult.

“My family thinks it’s time to get married, I don’t make enough money yet, how do I do that?” ‘yet another confused being called Adult says.

They complain of not being prepared for the phase called ‘Adulthood”, of not being equipped with adequate information, techniques, knowledge and wisdom, BUT, in actual sense… was anybody ready for LIFE?

Were we ready to be birthed into this world of sin?, into Nigeria?, into Lagos? (I sure know I wasn’t ready, forget the phrase “We were born ready” *rolls eye*)


  • Birth (The Coming Phase):

We joy and glory in the birth of yet another unprepared soul into a world filled with confusion. If you are fortunate, you are handed a silver spoon, if not you join the 98% living with either bronze spoon or no spoon.

  • Childhood: 

Another unprepared phase called childhood. If you are among the fortunate few, you live through a less confused and torturing childhood while still trying to understand your new environment.

If you are female and fortunate, life would not throw molestation and abuse your way, if not, you join the 90% who have either been molested, abused, married off to a pedophile or kidnapped by the men of the underworld and made to carry children as a child.

If you are male and fortunate, you have a father who is responsible enough to show you the ropes whilst showing you love, if not, you join the rest who are either fatherless or don’t have fathers who are role-models to guide them.

P.S : Having a father to show you the ropes doesn’t mean you have it figured out.

  • Adolescent: 

Here comes yet another acute phase of glorious confusion. The journey to Becoming (becoming more confused). If you are among the fortunate few, you get to choose what you want to be and how you want to live (Not in an African setting tho). If not, you join the 80% who are forced to live out the dreams of their parents, a life of unfulfilments.

You become what they want you to become regardless of your own dreams, strengths, passion and joy. You study what they want you to study, you pick the college they want you to go, you read and watch what they want you to. 

The only thing you do is watch, watch as the man or woman you are is been silenced by these people whose intention is to show love, guide and protect.

  • The Rat Race (The Ultimate State of Confusion)

Getting a degree, the 9-5, building a career, starting a business, being an entrepreneur, building an empire building the dream house, buying the dream car, marrying the best wife/husband, getting the dream job, spending at least 5 years in traffic, starting a family. 

If you are among the fortunate few, you get it right, make some bucks, scale up a few companies and leave happily. But to what end? What was or is the golden prize for the race? A multi-dollar company (one that if not properly managed after your demise would end up in ruins)? A family? The Rolls Royce or Bugatti?

If you are not among the fortunate few, you toil and struggle to have a roof over your head, to have one or two cars and children you can send to the best schools who would continue the struggle called Life and then you leave – just like that.

So, what is the ultimate goal or prize for this race called Life? While you ponder on that, here are five (5) ways to turn life from SCAM to FAB

  • Enjoy the Journey: 

The truth is not every one of us would figure it out, most would leave clueless, I guess that’s why they say the graveyard is the richest place. Firstly, understand that having money doesn’t mean you have discovered the true essence of life or how to live it and that not having money doesn’t mean you cannot truly enjoy life.

To understand how to enjoy life in your present state read; 

                 Joyce Meyer’s “Enjoying where you are on the way to where you are going”

  • Take each day as a blessing: 

See each day as a blessing and a gift, we cannot control everything that happens in this life that we have been given, what we can do is see each day given as a gift to do better to use the lessons learnt from yesterday as a tool to navigating future difficulties. 

In Arlissa’s “We Won’t Move”

“Step by Step, bricks by bricks…”

  • Travel, Laugh, Dance: Travel and see the world if you can, take in the beauty of what life has to offer, travel with friends and family. Get a camera and capture these moments, the laughter we share when we can, the tears with loved ones.  Dance when your favorite music comes up, laugh when you hear something silly.

In Lee Ann Womack Words:

“May you never take one single breath for granted…

Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens

Promise me that you’ll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance

I hope you dance”

  • Don’t be afraid to ask from life what you deserve. 
  • If life gives you lemons, take tequila shots or just make lemonades if you like the cliché.

Afolabi Bodunrin - For Creative GirlsAfolabi Bodunrin is a freelance writer, book lover and a travel enthusiast. She is the founder of SistersHive – a community of sisters coming together to empower each other, also the convener of the B.T.S (Breaking The Silence) campaign. Her writings are intended to question the status quo.




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