Recently I took an action that was regarded as a bold and well-intended move by those who were aware of it. Their words, not mine.
However, these words got me thinking and reevaluating the entire process, I began to wonder if it was indeed a bold move, because I had viewed it as a necessary one. “If this is what it takes to be bold, then being bold must be easy”, I thought.
Meanwhile, to understand their viewpoint, I decided to take a step back from myself and look in on the situation as a bystander. Doing this made me understand what they meant, though I still view what I did as necessary, not bold. Even so, I was able to conclude that a bold step is probably the same as a necessary step.
From my musings, I’ve been able to compile a list for that someone who needs to do something boldly (I’m reading this too because I need all the advice I can get!). Here goes;
- Understand the reason why
Making a move entails a lot; your time, knowledge, resources and dedication. So, before plunging into anything you must understand why you are doing it.
Ask yourself questions, weigh the alternatives. What are the benefits of going into such a project? Can you handle the outcome (positive or negative)? If you don’t do it, what will happen? Do you want to do it?
Having a deep understanding of why you want to make that move is the most important aspect of making it. You need to know what you are willing to deal with. Also, if your decision is going to affect others, let them in on it, tell them why you want to do it, listen to their doubts and clear it as much as you can. You really need to answer all their questions and know who’s ready to ride with you because, in the end, that may be all that matters.
Also, Read No Won’t Kill You: An Anatomy of No & How to Handle Rejection
- Give yourself time
Never ever rush into anything! Do not rush the process. Yes, I know time rules but if you let it, you might end up regretting that decision.
You need to take a breath and think deep. The reason why you do this is to know how to make your move now that you know why. A game plan ought to be put in place with reexamined tactics. These will entail studying, revising, relaxing and getting out of the situation to really see what it is about. I also advice talking to a neutral person about your dilemma, they usually give the best opinions.
Please understand that giving yourself time isn’t procrastinating.
- Fear can only wield the power you give it
Now that you’ve stepped out of the situation and seen the possible outcomes, you may begin to doubt your move. This is where fear sets in, which is why you need to understand why you’re doing what you’re doing. You must know that the move you’re making is indeed a necessary one, either you make it or all else falls apart. You must fear not doing it more than you fear doing it.
As the great Nelson Mandela is known to have said; “Courage is not the absence of fear but your triumph over it.”
You should be too busy working on your strategies to have time for fear.
- Kill your inhibitions
Inhibitions sometimes come in the form of procrastination (for me, mostly). It has various forms but similar patterns, ending with the same results; prohibiting you from taking that final step to knowing your fate.
Sometimes it goes like this; you are ready to hit send but something holds you back. You double check your work (which has been edited 50 times in the space of 3 days), stand up to grab a cup of tea, get tired, stretch, tell yourself you need downtime so you save your work, shut down the computer and head out. A week later the process starts all over again.
Kill your inhibitions and just do it already!
- Learn to move on
Now you’ve taken the step, what next? Well, some lucky folks get the results immediately, others have to wait.
My advice for those waiting? Forget about the event, you’ve done it so don’t overthink it. Take a chill pill and try to move on even while you await the reaction.
Thinking about it won’t change the outcome, it will only cause anxiety which you really do not need.
Gabriella Opara is a freelance content writer based in Lagos. She is passionate about creativity and self-development, moonlighting as a poet and amateur artist by night.
Follow her on Instagram and Twitter: @glamogen