Love is not a rushing wind that takes over your heart. It is not a raging fire that suddenly starts to consume your soul. It is more of a decision to choose one above all else and despite what may be. -Mofiyin, 2020.
Love is choosing to feel certain emotions and letting the emotions run free. So, you meet someone today and the person’s mannerisms, looks, and attitudes, takes your breath away, there is something in your heart that causes it to pulsate faster. That is not the actual love, it is a flush of emotions that are experienced because those qualities in someone or something fascinates and excites. When those emotions are experienced, there is now a decision to love; to be dedicated, to pay attention, to give everything possible for the happiness of that person. The decision births commitment, enthusiasm, and keenness.
An argument I always make is that Love is more of a decision or decisions than feelings. I think of it as an action word, not a noun because it indicates that there is a fire that is continuously flamed, that continuous flaming is the love, not the flames. When you love someone, you are constantly making conscious and intentional efforts. The consciousness, deliberateness, and intentionality are attributes of love.
When a woman gives birth to a child, there is a bond that exists between the mother and the child but that is not the love, love is the consciousness of directing the emotions felt because of awareness of the bond that exists. The evidence of her love is everything she does to ensure the child is well catered for. For friends, there is a connection, a vibe or an interest that is present and choosing to explore that vibe with intentionality is what largely makes up love.
It is possible to think love is what is felt when certain emotions develop as a result of someone doing things that warmed the heart; like sacrifices made, coming through at difficult moments and so on. There are other explanations for these emotions like appreciation, bliss, admiration and esteem.
Fondness, affection, warmth and other heartfelt emotions are often mistaken for love too. However, love is way complex and complicated than feelings that just spring up from nowhere. Love is intense, keen, directed, unflinching and highly intentional. This is why you see that regardless of how someone looks and acts, there might be someone who chooses them and remains dedicated to them.
Before you say I love you next time, ask yourself these questions.
- How deep do my emotions run?
Am I unflinching about this?
How far will I go?
Do I think this is completely and worth it?
Will I defend and fight for this?
There are still other questions that are valid but these would do for now. This is an opinion, so I stand to be corrected. However, it is a well-informed opinion with very good standing and reasonable evidence to back it up. Finally, there is no perfect or best time to show or spread love. Do it every time you can, the world needs it more than ever.
Mofiyin Sowunmi is a graduate of English, she is very passionate about unraveling social issues through her writing. Creative communications, media, and culture are also her turf. She reads and decorates in her spare time.