Eat Your Heart Out | Ifedayo Ward

I spent hours on YouTube on a work night. Never have I been so fascinated.

I discovered yoga and meditation a couple of years ago and it did change my life since then. You see, it was at a period when I was trying to shut out the deafening noise and unrest around me. I had been having incessant quarrels in my relationship, I was clueless about what steps to take in my career and I was literally and figuratively scattered, not even a haircut fixed me.

I had been talking to a neurologist cum therapist who suggested I “eat my heart out”. She literally said to me “Eat your heart out”. I hail from and live in a society where throwing that much caution to the wind may have adverse effects on a 20year old. I started a couple of activities that changed my outlook on life: running, reading, exploring cultures through music (my spirited friend, now LOML put me on this) and yoga. These activities threw me into a good shape of spirit, body, and soul.

Fast forward to recent times, I found myself gradually slipping into the “scattered” funk due to the pressure of work. I decided to try out new yoga poses for relaxation and I saw a woman in the video on YouTube, practically twice my size swinging and twisting into positions I’ve felt were impossible for my size 12 self. I didn’t only watch that particular video four times, I watched 30 similar videos from women cast by society as grossly overweight.

“Eat your heart out”, The words came back to haunt me.

Somewhere along the line of binging on YouTube plus-size yoga videos, I realized one thing I had lied to myself about all my life. I have held myself back from a lot of opportunities simply because I was scared of failing. All this while, I’ve been afraid of twisting an ankle, being rejected, failing and being mocked that I have missed out on a lifetime of supercalifragilisticexpialidocious-ness.

What have I learned? That I can live my life. Indeed, I’m living my life now and eating my heart out into awesomeness.

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Meet Sneh Sharma, Founder of Girls-first digital media agency, Ittisa and Ifedayo Ward’s friend.

You should also get Ifedayo’s Get Shit Done list for 2018.

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Ifedayo Ward is a Political Philosopher, Pan Africanist and Feminist. She is championing the course of mental health as a pioneer of Mentally Aware Nigeria Initiative. Ife full-times as a brand manager of a technology brand.