Moving out can be tasking, especially when you have to deal with the fact that your parents are hesitant about letting you out of their nest. They’d prefer that you never grow up at all or maybe just move from their place right into your matrimonial home.
Parents can be hard to deal with when one is ready to have the conversation about leaving them forever–because that’s the only way they would view it.
Here are some steps to take before you have that conversation with your parents, without hurting their feelings or feeling emotionally and financially drained yourself.
Start paying for bills in your parents’ house:
This is a subtle way to set boundaries, letting them know that you are grown and can handle life.
Bunk with someone:
It’s a harsh world out there, so you might want to test run things before actually moving out. Bunk with a friend, one who can tolerate all your eccentricities, share the bills with you and understand when you are tempted to move back to your parents’ home.
Get used to living alone:
You can do this during university days when you have no choice but to stay far from your parents. Or by pretending to live alone–because your parents’ short leash have you attending a university nearby.
Figure out what it costs to live alone:
How else can you survive on your own if you don’t know what it costs to do so? Ask around–don’t ask your parents, that would arouse their suspicions. Calculate all the recurrent bills and living expenses your parents have so you can have a good idea of how much fund you will need to get going. Try not to have a heart attack when you do.
Set some money aside:
Now that you’ve been resuscitated from the shock, get to work, gather some money. Bear in mind that this will take some time, not the few weeks that you naively envisioned.
Reduce your belongings:
Cut down on unnecessary baggage. Moving is expensive and the owner of the moving truck you will hire wouldn’t care for your story on how you’re just starting: they just want to get paid, and the more items you carry, the more they will charge. So pack a bag, say yes to minimalism.
Move out (little by little):
So you are ready to move but are shying away from having that DREADED conversation? Hmm, start moving some things out, hand luggage that would hardly be noticed when they are gone. Take a trip to the house you’ve just rented and unload all the items you were able to sneak away. This shouldn’t last more than a few weeks.
Make the big announcement:
Get bold. Call a family meeting, ensure that your favourite aunts, uncles, and cousins are in attendance so they can shield you from the wrath of your parents when you tell them you’ve already moved out. But, don’t forget to always keep in touch when you do. They will be grumpy for a while but they will eventually come to terms with the fact that you’re now an independent adult.
Oh, and one more thing:
Be sure you are ready to move out when you do. Because the worse thing than convincing your parents to let you move out is convincing them to let you move back in.
Gabriella Opara is a Lagos based freelance content writer who illustrates with words and travels the world through the doors of books. Asides from being a journalist she is also a book review blogger who moonlights as a poet and artist and is passionate about creativity and self-development. Going skydiving and visiting the Himalayas is on her tourism to-do list but for now, she makes do with reading about the adventures of Frodo in The Lord of the Rings and being in awe of The Last Watch documentary. Connect with her on Instagram, Twitter or firstname.lastname@example.org