Life Will Happen: Things I Learnt in 2018 | Gabriella Opara

Well, folks, it’s the New Year and what better way to begin 2019 than on a reflective mood, dreaming bigger and creating goals that will best the former year? Speaking of reflection, I have decided to reflect on how 2018 went and share with you, some valuable lessons I got from it.

Throughout last year I wondered if there was someone out there exactly like me, who had the same experiences and felt the same way I did, I wished that person had left a memoir so I would have had a roadmap instead of treading alone.

With this in mind, I have decided to share some of my observations with you.

Life will happen (whether you want it to or not): Most times we resent or resist the swerves life takes, we fight so hard to keep the visions of our path then lose sight of it in the process. When we do get our bearings, regret befalls us for the moments and opportunities that passed by.

Acceptance is vital to a peaceful and fulfilled life. The best approach is to weigh your options and choose what best suits you. Remember, fortune favors the brave.

Being driven is the key to success: Sometimes you’ll want to give up but you can’t. You’ll get to that point of throwing in the towel until you realize that it coiled around you instead, so you’d have no option but to continue.

At this point, you will fear nothing because your only aim will be to uncoil that towel. In light of this, you will become braver than you imagined possible, you will wish you were even timider because your boldness will scare you, regardless, you can’t stop until you win.

Good bosses are gold: Many people complain about their bosses and the frustration of bad colleagues. Countless memes have been created about this issue but reality differs because working in a toxic environment is difficult.

Meanwhile, the best gift one can have in a career is a boss that allows growth; one that understands your need for self-development. Honestly, you can only be an asset to a company when you constantly improve yourself; a boss that understands this is one that will have constant growth and loyal staff.

Reading memoirs can help improve your lot in life: I stated earlier that I wished someone had written a memoir featuring detailed events exactly like mine, in order to show me the way. Well, I still haven’t found it but I read quite a number in 2018 that struck me and encouraged me to live my truth.

Reading accounts of people who lived through so much and came out almost unscathed made me realize that peace is the most valuable human emotion, usually taken for granted.

There’s this feeling of “you are not alone in this” that reading a thorough account of people’s life gives, you get to understand that everything is not as it seems.

Look before you leap, if they are rushing you, it’s a deathtrap: Many times, you will encounter different people and various opportunities that may steal your breath away but you need to take your time to feel the atmosphere. Take a moment to listen to your intuition, if you don’t feel right about it then something is wrong. Yes, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger but you need to pick your battles wisely.

The tendency of falsehood is often cloaked in the need for haste, if you’re being rushed chances are the red herrings are being hidden. Be bold enough and intentional about your life to ask questions. If you’re being hushed every time you have an objection then you are not with the right people. Don’t be afraid to find your crowd.

The quality of your relationships is the quality of your life: Networking events have been on a rise for a while now and a number of people are already looking for accountability partners for 2019 (Afua Osei of SheLeads Africa is helping with that on her Instagram). Why are people so concerned about forming relationships? The simple answer is, man is a social animal and…well, it works.

That saying about how the five people around you influence you rings true when you compare how you began 2018 and how you ended it. Are you better? Can your improvement (or lack thereof) be attributed to those around you? Are they lifting you or draining you?

If your answers are negative then you need to seek a new circle or help those around you improve. Consciously seek out ways to enhance your lifestyle. In the end, you are the one living your life and you want it to be best.

You can download the Year Ahead booklet to help you reflect more on what you need and what is good for you.

Call them out on the bullsh**, it works; People will only take advantage of you if you allow it. Do not be scared to stand up for yourself and create boundaries because if you aim to please all the time, you will burn out and become replaced without a blink.

If you find yourself drowning in certain situations, be emotionally intelligent enough to know how to approach it in a way that would not rock the boat but still save you from drowning. However, if the only way to get the money out of the Piggybank is to break it, then smash it.

Ideas come from anywhere, don’t wait for it, don’t run after it: If you are waiting for ideas to come to you every time, you will lack consistency because your muse might be on a break. You have to actively keep your eye out for ideas.

However, do not become set in your ways because inspiration comes from anywhere, rigidity might make you miss the idea waiting for you in an ordinary item.

Learn the game, create your rules: Disruptors often start with knowing how the game is played first. If you don’t know the rules, how would you know you are changing it? Every idea and innovation begins with an idea that has its foundation laid on the basics, it might not follow the usual blueprint but a blueprint will be drawn.

If you’ve been planning to do something new, it’s important to note that you need to learn the game before you create your rules.

Gabriella Opara is a freelance content writer based in Lagos. She is passionate about creativity and self-development, moonlighting as a poet and amateur artist by night.